WHEN A DESI ARRIVES IN INDIA FROM USA

Begins conversation with “When I was in US…” or “In US….”

Takes the cabin luggage box for short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian roads.

From the luggage bags does not remove the airline stickers even after 4 months.

Looks suspiciously towards hotel and dhaba food.

Avoids eating more chilli (hot) food.

Pronounces “Schedule” as “skejule”, and “module” as ‘mojule”

Tries to drink “diet coke” instead of normal coke.

Tries to complain about anything in India, as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

Writes date as mm/dd/yyyy instead of dd/mm/yyyy, says “Oh! British style”

Sneezes and says “Excuse me”

Sprays Deo such, so that he does need to take bath.

Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health (as if very health conscious).

Tries to use credit card in road side hotels, pan shops and with all vendors.

Says all the distances in miles (not in kilometers) and counts in millions (not in lakhs)

Tries to figure all the prices in dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiples by 40 times)

Even after two months of his arrival, complains of Jet Lag.

Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road conditions.

Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk packet.

Does not forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

When needs to say Z (Zed), repeats “Zee” several times, if other person unable to get, then says X, Y, Zee (but never says Zed).

Says “hey” instead of “hi”. Says “yogurt” instead of “curds”. Says “cab” instead of “taxi”

Says “candy” instead of “chocolate”. Says “cookie” instead of ‘biscuit”.

Says “free way”Instead of “high way”. Says “got to go” instead of “have to go”. Says “Oh” instead of “Zero” (for 504, says five oh four instead of five zero four)

PLEASE HELP ME TO LOCATE MY MISSING RUPEE


I went to “PANTLOON” with my wife and daughter. At the discount sale section I found a trouser, costs Rs.197.00. I do not have money in my wallet. I borrowed Rs.100 from my wife and another from my daughter. At the counter, I got back Rs.3.00 and the trouser. I paid back Re.1.00 each to my wife and daughter and kept the balance Rupee with me.

Now,
I have to pay Rs.100-Re.1.00 = Rs.99.00 to my wife
I have to pay Rs.100 – Re.1.00 = Rs.99.00 to my daughter
And a rupee in my pocket.
Total comes to Rs.199.00
What and where another rupee missing?

Another computation:
I owe my wife 99 and one rupee I gave her = totals Rs.100
I owe my daughter 99 and one rupee I gave her = totals Rs.100
And a rupee in my pocket.
All totals up to 201. How come it is increased by one rupee?

E U T H A N S I A – MERCY KILLING
DEATH WITH DIGNITY

TERRI SCHIAVO, a married woman, born in 1963, in Florida State of USA, suddenly collapsed in her home on 25th March, 1990. She suffered from brain damage and became dependent on feeding tube. She suffered from respiratory problems and cardiac arrest and institutionalized for 15 years and diagnosed as PVS (Persistent Vegetative State). In 1998 her husband Michael, pleaded to remove her feeding tube and she will die peacefully. But, her parents argued that she is conscious and she should be kept alive. The case ran for 7 more years and it went to the table of US President, George Bush and also to Vatican City, before the POPE. Finally 0n 31st March, 2005. the feeding tube was withdrawn and she died peacefully.

This is the most recent case of EUTHANASIA (from Ancient Greek: ‘GOOD DEATH) and earlier there were a number of cases where help was given to terminally ill people to call it a day. The helpers were mostly physicians and so we may call EUTHANASIA as medical termination of life. It is legal in some countries and illegal in some other.

Recently on 13th April, 2005, France has made EUTHANASIA as legal. It is already legal in Netherlands, Belgium, and Switzerland. In Switzerland, a terminally ill patient can plead for a right to die, and the doctors may help him to die painless and peacefully.

Britain, Italy, other European and Asian Countries oppose this “Right to die”. In USA it is not legal, but the sanctions are awarded in deserving cases.
The reason behind accepting “Right to die” in France, is the case of Vincent Hamburt, a young man. He lost his vision in an accident in 2000 and in the hospital he was attacked by paralysis. He was virtually in a hell of suffering. And his mother has pleaded to the Government to allow him to die. Till March, 2003, she was fighting the Government through the courts and finally she herself has given him the killer medicines. As a result he was in coma for six months and died in September, 2003. This has provoked the Govt.of France to legalize EUTHANASIA.
In INDIA, at the present juncture, the million dollar question is – is it relevant at all. Issues like EUTHANASIA can hardly be restricted to the narrow confinement of self, the community or even a nation. It is purely a human problem. Yet, in a developing nation like India, with far more basic social and economic problems, naturally the question arises, is it relevant. If right to die is awarded to the people, what will happen. The wall between right to die and suicide and murder is very thin. Already turmoiled society will still be worsened. Once this right is awarded by law, it may be misused. But at the same time, a law cannot be withheld because it will be misused.

INDIA has yet to solve its basic problems that govern and sustain life. Infant mortality, reliable and affordable medicare, supply of clean drinking water, nutritious food, and a roof over the head. Among the social problems, that persists everyday in and out are, lack of unity, communal disharmony, overpopulation, economic backwardness, illiteracy and ignorance, disparity between boy and girl, man and woman, rich and poor, powerful and powerless and the list goes on. With all these problems unsolved even after 60 years of independence, will the debate on EUTHANASIA is relevant? The apathy towards EUTHANASIA stems from all these basic and social problems that are unsolved and right in front of us, hitting our nose. Another important observation is where most of the deaths occur due to ignorance, negligence and lack of medical facilities or otherwise, EUTHANASIA has no role to play. Further, every one knows that the legislation on abortion (another much debated subject) was sanctioned in India, being overpopulated, but not for any other sensitive reason. You may also ask, considering the present political scenario and insecurity – “Where life is not treated as a precious commodity nor the right to life taken seriously, where is the question of EUTHANASIA?”

However, as I said earlier, EUTHANASIA cannot be confined to a person, or community or a nation. It is a human problem.

IT IS INHUMAN TO PROLONG THE LIFE OF A TERMINALLY ILL PERSON. When the pain is unbearable, and the disease is incurable, it is inhumane to prolong the life of that person. Birth and death are two natural things of life. When we suspect the unborn baby has congenial defects, we terminate the pregnancy (MTP), on the same reason if the decease is incurable and the pain is unbearable and there is absolutely no chance to be normal, he should be allowed to die.

Ignoring all other arguments, for and against, INDIA should adopt the SWITZERLAND
policy on EUTHANASIA and give relief to the terminally ill people.

(Inspiration and source for this blog are the articles in “The Hindu”, an English daily in INDIA, dated 2nd December,1990 and “The Week”, an English weekly in INDIA, dated 6th February,1994)